How does the world know when I’m feeling insecure about everything. And then make it 10 thousand times worse??
I know why I’m feeling insecure – I’ve got raging hormones from TOM right now. But it happens. And that’s ok. And the fact that I haven’t gone more than 2 days tops without seeing the one I love, and then all of a sudden I’m having to go a week – it’s just making me mopey. And I’ve been remembering “the incident” and just feeling awful. And it doesn’t help that I’m sitting here eating breakfast & catching up on some TV & this whole episode is very similar to “the incident” & it just brought back all of these old feelings. I should have just stopped watching it but I didn’t. Instead I continued to watch it & cry. Ugh. I feel like I should be over it all right now & it shouldn’t bother me. And most of the time it doesn’t. Most of the time I’m fine. I’d even go so far as saying 90% of the time I’m fine. But when I’m not, I’m really not.
I realized that I want to spend my life with this man. But I’ve got to get past the incident first. I can’t cry every time I see something that reminds me of it on TV or movie.
Thankfully I already have a plan for today so I can’t sit around & wallow in my old self pity.
I’m meeting Heather for a walk at 10. Then meeting the bestie for lunch. Then grocery shopping.
But seriosly, wallowing in my own self pity sounds so wonderful right now.