Can I just say how tired I am of everybody else putting so many pressures on my relationship?
From day one people have been asking the one I love & myself to define our relationship. And when we did people started asking what was next. And when was the next step going to happen. And why it hasn’t happened yet.
Why is this of concern to other people?
The one I love and myself are taking the steps that we are comfortable taking with our relationship. We are going at a pace that works for us right now. We are talking about things when they need to discussed. Defining things when they need to be defined.
We realize that we are “not getting any younger.” We realize that most people our age are settling down, getting married, and starting families. This is not news to us – trust us, the 4 weddings we’ve been to in just over a year tell us this.
I also realize that for us, that’s not what our relationship needs. Our relationship is slower paced. It’s a stroll, not a sprint or even a jog. We are going at our pace. We are learning about each other.
Both myself and the one I love want to be 100% certain that we are not going to get ourselves into something we are not ready for. We want to make certain that our marriage, if it comes to that, will last. We want to know we can withstand any issue thrown at us. And right now neither of us are ready for much more than we have now.
We know what the natural progression of our relationship will probably take. We realize that we may be on different time lines. We realize that one, or both, may have to compromise to make things work in the long run. We also realize that we’re not ready to take those steps or make those compromises either.
Just because I stay at his house more than he stays with me. Or we’ve agreed not to focus on the future until after I graduate. None of this means that things with us are bad. Or that he isn’t putting as much into this relationship as I am.
Why can’t people just see our relationship for what it is? Two people in love, having fun, enjoying each others’ company. Just because we’re not flaunting our relationship discussions for all to see doesn’t mean we haven’t discussed them & come to an agreement. Because what we’ve decided doesn’t line up with what you think we should decide doesn’t mean that we’re not going to make it in the long run. Because we do things different from how you would doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love me as much as I love him of vice versa.
This is my relationship. My timeline. My life. Therefore, my worries. Not yours.