It belongs to me.
I should know. I work in the dental field.
I can not get enough sweets right now. I’m craving them like its my job.
Don’t believe me? Last night I had 3 brownies and a piece of apple cake. Don’t judge me!
I also don’t know how to remedy this problem. And its made worse by the fact that I’m a stress baker. And I just love baking in general. So what did I do this weekend? I baked. Cookies and brownies. And let me just tell you, they were the best brownies I have ever made. Ever!
I did give away a large portion of the cookies I made. But I also ate plenty of them. And don’t get me started on the brownies. There’s still half a pan sitting in the kitchen. I will eat one (hopefully just one) tonight after class.
On top of my sweet tooth and being a stress baker, I’m a stress eater. And this part of it all is not going so well for me. As you can see from the 3 brownies & the slice of apple cake consumed yesterday. It’s like my body is saying “Eat it, no one will know.” And so I do. The other morning, while the one I love was up-stairs, slowly getting his butt out of bed, I ate 2 cookies. I knew we were going out to get breakfast. But I ate them anyway. And I didn’t tell him, because I didn’t want him to judge me. Seriously!
Am I secret eating again? And why? The one I love doesn’t care if I eat. I promise. He likes the fact that I’m not a skinny girl.
But why am I feeling the need to do this again? What is wrong with me? I’ll try to find excuses to be allowed to eat. “Oh, we’re not going out for another hour, but I’m hungry now. I’ll just have this brownie… or 2, or 3.” I need to stop this. I don’t know how. And more importantly, I don’t know why I’m doing this again. It’s like I’m trying to self-sabotage my WLJ. I’m turning to food when I’m bored/lonely/excited/etc. Like last night, I was rewarding myself with brownies & cake for each chapter I finished reading for homework. Seriously! Who does that?? Finish a chapter, have a brownie! Finish for the night, have 2! Yeah, it was that kind of night.
So tonight’s goal is only 1 brownie. Finishing my homework and having a brownie. One. One single, lonely, brownie.
It’s going to be a hard night.