Ugh… here we go again…

Seriously.

I’m so over this conversation. Its redic. And it keeps coming up. I’d say, on average, once a month this conversation happens.

What conversation you ask? The future. The future that involves the one I love & myself. Where are we going? What are we doing? When will we get there?

I’d much rather ask those questions about a really fun vacation. But, alas, I’m not. I’m asking them about the one I love. When are we going to be ready to take the next step? After I finish school in April? After I graduate in December? A year after I finish school? When? And what is our next step?? I assume just living together. But we basically do that now. So is that really going to be our next step? And what are we doing?? Like I said, we basically live together. I do not stay at my house. I don’t. I haven’t in months. When do we admit to ourselves that we live together?

This conversation keeps coming up. And we don’t know what to do. We both realize that I will ultimately be the one who is ready long before he is. Long before. But how long? A month? 6 months? A year? 6 years??? We both realize that this is our issue. And we don’t know what to do about it. We both agree not to discuss it again until after I finish school. And then, it shows its ugly head again. One of us will make a comment in passing and it will make the other fester and stew and worry. And then we’ll just shut down. We just don’t know what to do. And then the other feels terrible for a couple days. It’s a vicious cycle.

Seriously, if you have any advise on how to get past this, please, pass it along. We need some tips. Because just saying “We won’t talk about this until ______ date” – it ain’t working for us, folks!

future

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2 thoughts on “Ugh… here we go again…

  1. I was in your shoes for about a year, up until a few months ago. I was like “this needs to happen now!” when the reality was it wasn’t! So I changed my thinking and realized “why I am pushing this? It is just making me more miserable. It keeps me focusing on that I don’t have a ring when I still have a guy I enjoy spending time with.” So I have let it go and feel sooo much better. I barely think about it anymore. I’m glad to not be caught up in it all, it’s exhausting. It helps me live in the NOW instead of the future.

  2. We try to just not worry about it. We both know we want to be with each other. But there are times when small comments on the wrong day turn into an issue. Trust me, we are way better than we used to be about worrying about this. We’ll get there.

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