I get it. You’re busy. You’re fit. You eat healthy. You take care of your family. You have all the excuses in the world to not live this lifestyle. Yet you DO live this lifestyle.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t have an excuse to not live that lifestyle. It may not be a valid excuse to you, but to me, it was.
I was there. I had lost the weight. I was healthier than I had ever been in my life. And then it all changed.
Life happened. I began a relationship with a man who likes to eat. Who made me feel comfortable in my own skin. And I gained some weight.
Then life happened again. Things with that same man took a turn for the worse. A big turn (damn, I’m glad that was temporary!). I didn’t have an appetite. And then when I did, I would eat every.single.thing I could get my hands on. All of it. If it wasn’t nailed down, I ate it. I ate for comfort. I gained some more weight.
Then, guess what?! Life happened, AGAIN! I went back to school. I spent so much time on the go it was insane. I ate take-out often. We lived on quick and easy dinners. Yeah, I only went to school 1 night a week. But I spent many other nights doing homework or group work until late in the evening. I ate what I could get my hands on. I ate to keep myself occupied. I gained even more weight.
And then I woke up one morning and I hated what I saw. I had gained back all the weight I had worked so hard to lose. I felt awful about the way I looked. The way I felt. I hit the point that not only did I hate what I saw in the mirror, naked, but I hated what I saw in the mirror with clothes on as well. My clothes didn’t fit right. They weren’t comfortable.
The weight was really starting to affect me wanting to go out and do things. I became a homebody (more-so than I normally am. And I’m a pretty big homebody.). If it wasn’t just hanging out with the friends, I didn’t want to do it.
So I gave a half-hearted attempt at losing the weight. I did this a few times. So many times, in fact, that Mr. Chocolate didn’t believe me when I said I was going to lose the weight. He’d kind of giggle to himself when I’d tell him I was starting my diet back up. The saddest part about his actions, though, is that I gave him every reason to believe that I would fail. He has heard me say that I was going to do it more times than I can count. And each time, I’d quit.
I’d make an excuse.
But that’s the thing about weight loss. Fit-mom was right. I didn’t have a valid excuse as to why I couldn’t lose the weight. My life wasn’t any busier than hers. If anything, hers is probably busier than mine. But the difference between her and me, she was mentally prepared for it. I, however, was not. And people, that is the only excuse there is.
Weight loss is very much mental. Physically, we can all do it. It doesn’t take much. The last time I lost a large amount of weight was primarily diet changes alone. Anyone can change their diet. Even if it’s just eating less of the same things. You can change.
The hard part about weight loss is being ready to do it. If you aren’t ready you’ll make excuses. And that’s ok. When you’re ready, you’ll know it.
I think I’m finally ready. I think even Mr. Chocolate sees it this time.