Pick Your Hard

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We’ve all heard this before. And we all know it’s true. And for me, it really is a struggle.

My last post I talked about not caring about what YOU think about me and my body. And I was telling the truth, I don’t. But at the moment, I wish my body looked different. So I’m working on changing that. Because not liking the way my body looks is hard.

It’s hard to go clothes shopping. Clothes cost more money when you’re plus size. They don’t fit as well. I don’t feel as confident when my jeans are cutting into my stomach, leaving me with a visible pooch when dressed. Unless, of course, I want to wear baggy t-shirts all the time. They hide my pooch well. But nothing about them says “I am a confident woman!”

It’s also hard to let Mr. Chocolate in when I’m not happy with myself. I tend to shut him out. I don’t want to be lovey with him. I find it hard to believe him when he tells me I’m beautiful. And because I don’t believe him, it starts to affect other parts of our relationship. Yes, I realize this is MY issue. But I can’t help basing the blame.

But is trying to lose the weight any easier? It takes the right mindset to be ready to lose the weight. It takes courage. Lots of courage. I don’t agree that it takes more time or more money to lose weight. But those two things HELP. A gym membership can help you lose weight. But you can also just walk around your neighborhood to get in activity. You can buy 2nd hand DVDs for cheap. Being able to buy fresh vegetables and fruit taste better. But frozen are cheap. And last longer. You just have to get more creative when fixing them.

While I have rejoined Weight Watchers (for the 5 millionth time, whatever) I’m not focusing on eating all the perfect foods. Because losing weight is hard enough. We’re still going to eat the foods we love. I just need to make some other changes in my life. Because my hard is no longer going to be “fat”. My hard is currently going to be losing the weight.

And hopefully soon, my hard will be affording a new wardrobe.

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