Goal Update + General Ramblings

1) Exercise 2 times a week.
Done! I got 3 workouts in this week. Not much, but I’m happy with it. My goal this week is to continue with 3 workouts. Which when you factor in school, work, and having a life becomes harder for me than I really expected it to be.

2) Cook at least 3 dinners at home.
Check! I didn’t even go out for my usual Subway on Wednesdays! I’ve been cooking at home and eating leftovers this week. Loving it!

3) Pack my lunch at least 4 days a week.
This is seriously so easy to do. It saves me so much money and I’m really not missing eating out. It’s cold outside – I don’t want to go out there to get food.

Seriously, next month I’m going to have to come up with something harder than this. Maybe workout at least once during the weekend. That should definitely be a February goal.

I also think I’m going to set myself up some weight related rewards. Maybe every 5 pounds something small. And every 15-20 pounds do a larger reward like a piece of clothing.

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225lbs – New Nail Polish
220lbs (5%) – Piece of Jewelry
215lbs – New Shirt
210lbs (10%) – Mani/Pedi
205lbs – New Nail Polish
200lbs – New Shirt
195lbs – New Nail Polish
190lbs – New Bathing Suit
185lbs – New Dress
180lbs – New Piece of Jewelry
175lbs (Goal!!) –  $100 of new clothes

***

I have a beef roast going in the crock pot right now. I can’t wait to eat it tonight!! Lots of carrots. I’m going to make some mashed potatoes and green beans to go with it. And probably try to make a gravy out of the juice in the crock pot. Oh I can’t wait for dinner!!

And I need to clean some tonight. I seriously hate cleaning. I doubt I’ll do much. Probably just sweep & wipe down the bathroom, take my laundry upstairs. Tidy up I guess is a better term. Exercise. And paint my nails. That’s the plan for tonight.

And of course watch Big Bang Theory. But I can do that while I paint my nails, relax on the sofa, and read my book.

***

Daily Menu:

B: Smoothie, PB toast, coffee. -6
S: Greek yogurt. -3
L: Leftover Mexican stuff. -10
S: Apple, cheese stick. -2
D: Beef roast, carrots, mashed potatoes, green beans. -9

I still have 7 points left. I might make myself a latte (skim milk microwaved & then shaken to get “frothy”, then mixed with coffee & sweetener) to enjoy later.

Goal Update!!!

It’s that time of week again. Goal update! I am so totally rockin’ out my goals. It’s insane.

1) Exercise 2 times a week.
Yeah. I got that. I didn’t work out over the weekend or on Tuesday, when I spent the evening doing homework. But I pulled out a workout on Thursday, Friday, Monday, & Wednesday. And I’m planning one tonight to do my Hip Hop Abs DVD.

2) Cook at least 3 dinners at home.
Can I change this one? I mean, I’ve eaten at home for at least 3 dinners this week. I think I said leftovers count. Which is good, because only feeding one person leaves a LOT of leftover food. The other night I made some turkey sausage with onions and peppers. I paired that with quinoa. I have leftovers for dinner tonight. And probably tomorrow. Seriously. I eat lots of leftovers. I’m still counting this as a goal met – my goal was to not spend money on eating out. And I’m not.

3) Pack my lunch at least 4 days a week.
Seriously, I don’t think I’ve gone out for lunch since the new year started. I’m that good. I may not want what I’ve packed, but I eat it. Because I’m cheap. And because I tell myself I can have it for lunch or I can have it for dinner. And I really don’t want a piddly turkey sandwich for dinner. I want warm and hearty. So lunch wins out.

***

Daily Menu:

B: Strawberry Cheesecake smoothie, muffin, coffee. -5
S: I had greek yogurt – I forgot to eat it. -0
L: Leftover Subway, banana. -11
S: Apple, cheese stick. -2
D: Turkey sausage, onions, peppers, quinoa. -11

I still have like 8pts left (because I forgot to eat my yogurt!). I’ll probably have some chocolate tonight & possibly eat my yogurt before my workout or something.

***

I had my final essay exam for my Human Resources Management class last night. I’m glad that class is over, but I’m really dreading my next class. The first night we have a 10 minute presentation & paper due. As well as some individual work. I just fear this class is going to stress me out to the max. And I just can’t handle being stressed out to the max. I’m so close to being done. I just want it to end.

Senioritis anyone??

And also, I’m totally stressing about what to do my final Integration Project paper on. And when my stupid advisor is going to let us know about the Capstone thing. We can chose either option, but we don’t have the information to make a discession. I need to know these things!!

***

So… I may have yelled at Mr. Chocolate last night.

It was totally justified!!

Even if he was being super sweet boyfriend at the time.

He gets home at like 2am from work. I wake up to cold wet dog nose in my face. He had gone by his parents house to get his dog, who has missed him like mad crazy here recently.

Anyway. Once I’m awake I’m kept awake by this awful banging pounding noise coming from somewhere in the house. I knew he was home because KT Dog was not home when I went to bed. So I put on my slippers and go to locate this God awful noise. Only to find that it was Mr. Chocolate in the back room with an ax (hello CLUE! – oh please tell me you got that reference. If not, we so totally can’t be friends.)!! Anyway… yeah.

Mr. Chocolate and his ax. Chopping up some wood. In the house. WTF mate?? And there I stand in my old man undershirt, paint covered yoga pants, and fuzzy pink slippers. Damn I looked hot mess. I may have fussed at him to make that noise stop. Right now. Immediately. He laughed at me, gave me a kiss, and said he was sorry for making noise & he would start our fire quieter. Then he asked me for a beer (seriously, I can’t make this shit up). Gave me a kiss, and sent me back to bed. Where I slept in silence because the ax chopping had stopped. And I was a happy girl.

 

Goal Update + General Ramblings

1) Exercise 2 times a week.
Check! So far I have exercised 3 times. That I can remember. There was possibly a fourth time in there. But honestly, I don’t know. And that would require me to go back through my online WW activity tracker to tell you if I did or did not workout a fourth time. And why bother? I’ve already told you I met this goal.

2) Cook at least 3 dinners at home.
This is another check! I have had only about 2 meals out this week. Not bad. And one of those “meals” was a drink & a handful of fries on girls night. The other was Subway, and because it’s $5 Footlong month I have dinner for tonight also! So far this week I have made pesto salmon, chicken salad, spaghetti squash several different ways. Lots of yummy things have come out of the kitchen so far.

3) Pack my lunch at least 4 days a week.
Um. Done. Yeah. I haven’t gone out to eat for lunch in over a week. I got this. A coworker suggested going out for lunch yesterday. And it was tempting. Instead, we both went to the gym and ate the lunches we had packed. What? Who does that!

So obviously, I’m crushing this.

***

I had class last night. And shockingly, my professor wasn’t his normal jerkface self. I was very happy about this fact. I’m actually not dreading going to my class next Wednesday.

But, my professor let the cat out of the bag about something. We have to do this “Integration Project” thing. Basically write a giant ass paper in order to graduate. And our mentor/professor for this project told us that roughly 1 person out of each cluster won’t pass the paper. Yay! Hello nervous as hell going into this thing. And the closer it gets the more nervous I get.

So, last night, professor jerkface is talking about our integration project. And then he asked if we were going to take the capstone instead. The what? Excuse me? We can take a class instead of this stupid paper?? SIGN ME UP!!

Several of us emailed our advisor, and her boss, because let’s be honest, our advisor fails. And we got a reply. This is an option that AU is offering to its GPS program. And we should be receiving information about this option in the next week or 2.

I MIGHT NOT HAVE TO WRITE THAT BASTARD PAPER!!!

You seriously have no clue how much stress that takes off of me. I have worried about this paper for so long. I have refused to schedule ANYTHING between the middle of April & the first week of June. Paper writing to the max, baby! But now I might be able to just take a class. OMGeez. Cross your fingers & pray to whatever god you pray to that I can do this.

***

Daily Menu:

B: PB2 Chocolate, & banana smoothie. -5
S: Greek yogurt. -3
L: Chicken salad sandwich, hummus w/ celery, mandarin orange. -11
S: Apple & cheese stick. -1
D: Leftover Subway. -11

I still have 7pts left. Which is enough for some Fritos with my sandwich & some reese cups later. Oh happy day!

January Goals

I think each month I’m going to set 3 goals. And every Thursday I’ll check in on how I’m doing with those goals. Starting out they are nothing grand or super. Actually quite simple. Until I really get back into the swing of things I need to start small. Focus on little things I can do. Build my confidence in myself (and my ability to stick to a weight loss plan) back up. So for that reason, my 3 goals for the month of January are:

1) Exercise 2 times a week.
I realize this isn’t much, but I haven’t exercised in weeks months. So baby steps. Get back into the routine of things and get my body built back up to being able to work out more. I’ll start mainly with cardio. Currently I get winded if I go up the stairs too fast, that’s not cool. And then I do the awkward “it’s cool, I’m not out of breathe” thing.

2) Cook at least 3 dinners at home.
Yes, I realize there are 7 nights a week. But when Mr. Chocolate is home he wants to go out to eat a lot. Or eat with his parents. Or get take out. And on Wednesday nights I have class, which means I’m usually eating Subway. So 3 home cooked dinners is actually difficult, but do-able, to do. Leftovers can count because I’m still in control of what I’m eating.

3) Pack my lunch at least 4 days a week.
This is probably going to be the easiest for me. At least most weeks. This will help save money & trim my waistline – 2 amazing things! Lots of salads, soups, and sandwiches in my future. I need to start looking around Pinterest for some awesome packed lunch ideas.

So that’s the goal for now. I’ll set my weeks up to run Thursday-Wednesday & will check back every Thursday about how I’ve done the previous week. So far today I’ve packed lunch & have plans of leftovers for dinner.

***

Daily Menu:

B: Quiche, English muffin, Coffee. -5
S: Greek yogurt. -3
L: Chicken enchilada, Rice, Banana. -12
S: Apple, Cheese stick. -1
D: Salad w/ Salsa Chicken, Pineapple- 8
A: DVD
S: 3 Chocolate Chip Cookies. -5

I still have 4pts left for my day. I might take a bubble bath with a glass of wine. Or enjoy some more cookies.

Food Shame

Are you ever embarrassed to eat in front of people?

It could be a certain type of food. Like how I hate eating bone-in wings around anyone other than Mr. Chocolate, or how I hate eating chocolate in front of attractive men. (Mr. Chocolate doesn’t count here – he is super attractive, but he understands my love affair with chocolate.) And I don’t like eating more than one plate of food at a gathering because I feel like people are judging me for eating too much.

I feel judged when I eat these things. Or guilty for indulging. I feel like people will think I’m fat if I eat a brownie after eating Taco Bell (which, by the way, Taco Bell now has a pretty decent brownie – especially if you microwave it first!). I feel ashamed of the way I look when I eat these things.

This mindset is NOT a healthy one. Because all it leads to is secret eating. Instead of eating these things in front of people I wait, and then eat them in hiding where no one can see me. I’ll wait until Mr. Chocolate isn’t home and order the pizza I love – and I’ll eat almost half of it. Or wait for my coworker to leave the room and eat 4 pieces of candy. And because I wait, I binge eat.

I need to refocus my relationship with food. I need to not be ashamed to eat certain foods, but instead be proud of myself and the fact that I can indulge in these foods – in moderation (that’s the key word there). I need to realize that I can eat these foods out in the open. I can eat them until I am satisfied, not sick. I don’t have to feel ashamed for eating these things.

So my current goal is to get my eating under control. Try not to binge. Try not to emotional eat. Try to be mindful of how much I’m eating.

I’m out of that funk

And happy as a lark.

It was bad. Bad bad bad. It took a while for things to get better. In all aspects of my happiness. But they are turning around. And for the most part, they have completely. Life is good again. And that’s a good thing.

I’m feeling comfortable with school. I’m not stressing. My classes are no where near as hard as I was expecting them to. (I say that now, but I have a midterm to work on this weekend & a final project to start.) I got rid of the evil piece of crap car that keeps messing up. I got a car payment I can afford & I’m comfortable with. Things with the one I love have completely turned around. We’ve figured out our relationship again & things are good.

How many times can I use the term good in this post?

I took a couple personal days. I talked a lot with a friend of mine. I arranged a deal with my mom. The one I love & myself laid everything out on the table. Lots of talking. And stressing. And sole searching. And maybe a mental health day or 2 in there where I avoided all human contact.

Anyway.

I’m back on track with my diet/exercise plan. That was slacking. And I tend to do that whenever life starts to feel overwhelming and out of control. I completely ignore the healthy habits I’ve learned. But, now that life seems to be good again, it’s time to focus on those aspects again. (Ok, yes, I realize it’s *always* time to focus on those aspects, but sometimes, just no.)

My goal is to lose 17 pounds by NYE. That will put be back at 199 pounds. I can do it. I will do it. And from there, just another 20 pounds to my goal. I.Will.Do.It!!

I should totally be doing HW…

I also need to clean my house. Do some dishes. And some laundry.

But instead I’m fiddle-farting around the interwebs avoiding it.

We have a huge final project due on Wednesday. I also have my own individual assignment due. I volunteered to put together our powerpoint, but honestly, I have no idea how to do our project! But damnit, I can rock a powerpoint. My goal for today is to get the rough draft of that baby done & then work on a little research, my individual project, and then head back over to the one I love’s house.

I also hope to get a gym trip in today. Since I’m back over on my side of town the gym isn’t too far away. Yes, I realize I could easily come over here every weekend and hit up the gym. But let’s be honest here people, that’s not going to happen. I am not driving 40 minutes to go to the gym.

***

So, my wedding dress came in. Let me clarify, I am not getting married. I did not order a wedding gown. I ordered a dress to wear to the 4, yes 4, weddings we have to go to this fall. And it is hot. I put it on the other day and the one I love declared that I look sexy in it. Except it’s a little tight in the belly area. Sad day for me. I have a month to reduce the belly and get into that baby perfectly. If all else fails, I’ll take my pudgy belly to Macy’s & buy me some high raise panties! Hell-o old lady undies!! (whatever works, right?)

cry-danger-dress 1 cry-danger-dress-body-back-z

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I seriously can not wait to wear this thing out. I told the one I love he’s going to have to take me on a hot date when it fits perfectly. I have never felt so sexy in a dress.

That’s my first WLG right now – get into this bad boy! After that, I’ll figure out a new one. Maybe then I’ll buy a new article of clothing to fit into.