Goal Update!!!

It’s that time of week again. Goal update! I am so totally rockin’ out my goals. It’s insane.

1) Exercise 2 times a week.
Yeah. I got that. I didn’t work out over the weekend or on Tuesday, when I spent the evening doing homework. But I pulled out a workout on Thursday, Friday, Monday, & Wednesday. And I’m planning one tonight to do my Hip Hop Abs DVD.

2) Cook at least 3 dinners at home.
Can I change this one? I mean, I’ve eaten at home for at least 3 dinners this week. I think I said leftovers count. Which is good, because only feeding one person leaves a LOT of leftover food. The other night I made some turkey sausage with onions and peppers. I paired that with quinoa. I have leftovers for dinner tonight. And probably tomorrow. Seriously. I eat lots of leftovers. I’m still counting this as a goal met – my goal was to not spend money on eating out. And I’m not.

3) Pack my lunch at least 4 days a week.
Seriously, I don’t think I’ve gone out for lunch since the new year started. I’m that good. I may not want what I’ve packed, but I eat it. Because I’m cheap. And because I tell myself I can have it for lunch or I can have it for dinner. And I really don’t want a piddly turkey sandwich for dinner. I want warm and hearty. So lunch wins out.

***

Daily Menu:

B: Strawberry Cheesecake smoothie, muffin, coffee. -5
S: I had greek yogurt – I forgot to eat it. -0
L: Leftover Subway, banana. -11
S: Apple, cheese stick. -2
D: Turkey sausage, onions, peppers, quinoa. -11

I still have like 8pts left (because I forgot to eat my yogurt!). I’ll probably have some chocolate tonight & possibly eat my yogurt before my workout or something.

***

I had my final essay exam for my Human Resources Management class last night. I’m glad that class is over, but I’m really dreading my next class. The first night we have a 10 minute presentation & paper due. As well as some individual work. I just fear this class is going to stress me out to the max. And I just can’t handle being stressed out to the max. I’m so close to being done. I just want it to end.

Senioritis anyone??

And also, I’m totally stressing about what to do my final Integration Project paper on. And when my stupid advisor is going to let us know about the Capstone thing. We can chose either option, but we don’t have the information to make a discession. I need to know these things!!

***

So… I may have yelled at Mr. Chocolate last night.

It was totally justified!!

Even if he was being super sweet boyfriend at the time.

He gets home at like 2am from work. I wake up to cold wet dog nose in my face. He had gone by his parents house to get his dog, who has missed him like mad crazy here recently.

Anyway. Once I’m awake I’m kept awake by this awful banging pounding noise coming from somewhere in the house. I knew he was home because KT Dog was not home when I went to bed. So I put on my slippers and go to locate this God awful noise. Only to find that it was Mr. Chocolate in the back room with an ax (hello CLUE! – oh please tell me you got that reference. If not, we so totally can’t be friends.)!! Anyway… yeah.

Mr. Chocolate and his ax. Chopping up some wood. In the house. WTF mate?? And there I stand in my old man undershirt, paint covered yoga pants, and fuzzy pink slippers. Damn I looked hot mess. I may have fussed at him to make that noise stop. Right now. Immediately. He laughed at me, gave me a kiss, and said he was sorry for making noise & he would start our fire quieter. Then he asked me for a beer (seriously, I can’t make this shit up). Gave me a kiss, and sent me back to bed. Where I slept in silence because the ax chopping had stopped. And I was a happy girl.

 

Goal Update + General Ramblings

1) Exercise 2 times a week.
Check! So far I have exercised 3 times. That I can remember. There was possibly a fourth time in there. But honestly, I don’t know. And that would require me to go back through my online WW activity tracker to tell you if I did or did not workout a fourth time. And why bother? I’ve already told you I met this goal.

2) Cook at least 3 dinners at home.
This is another check! I have had only about 2 meals out this week. Not bad. And one of those “meals” was a drink & a handful of fries on girls night. The other was Subway, and because it’s $5 Footlong month I have dinner for tonight also! So far this week I have made pesto salmon, chicken salad, spaghetti squash several different ways. Lots of yummy things have come out of the kitchen so far.

3) Pack my lunch at least 4 days a week.
Um. Done. Yeah. I haven’t gone out to eat for lunch in over a week. I got this. A coworker suggested going out for lunch yesterday. And it was tempting. Instead, we both went to the gym and ate the lunches we had packed. What? Who does that!

So obviously, I’m crushing this.

***

I had class last night. And shockingly, my professor wasn’t his normal jerkface self. I was very happy about this fact. I’m actually not dreading going to my class next Wednesday.

But, my professor let the cat out of the bag about something. We have to do this “Integration Project” thing. Basically write a giant ass paper in order to graduate. And our mentor/professor for this project told us that roughly 1 person out of each cluster won’t pass the paper. Yay! Hello nervous as hell going into this thing. And the closer it gets the more nervous I get.

So, last night, professor jerkface is talking about our integration project. And then he asked if we were going to take the capstone instead. The what? Excuse me? We can take a class instead of this stupid paper?? SIGN ME UP!!

Several of us emailed our advisor, and her boss, because let’s be honest, our advisor fails. And we got a reply. This is an option that AU is offering to its GPS program. And we should be receiving information about this option in the next week or 2.

I MIGHT NOT HAVE TO WRITE THAT BASTARD PAPER!!!

You seriously have no clue how much stress that takes off of me. I have worried about this paper for so long. I have refused to schedule ANYTHING between the middle of April & the first week of June. Paper writing to the max, baby! But now I might be able to just take a class. OMGeez. Cross your fingers & pray to whatever god you pray to that I can do this.

***

Daily Menu:

B: PB2 Chocolate, & banana smoothie. -5
S: Greek yogurt. -3
L: Chicken salad sandwich, hummus w/ celery, mandarin orange. -11
S: Apple & cheese stick. -1
D: Leftover Subway. -11

I still have 7pts left. Which is enough for some Fritos with my sandwich & some reese cups later. Oh happy day!

Why Are You Doing This??

Whatever this is. Why are you doing it?

For me, this is my weight loss journey. And my why, it’s because I realize how being overweight has affected my life. My clothes don’t fit right and I constantly feel like I’m messing with them to hide lumps & bumps. I don’t feel attractive lots of the time. And when I don’t feel attractive it makes me wonder why Mr. Chocolate finds me attractive, even though he tells me regularly that I am.

Maybe doing this to look better is a vain or wrong reason, but it’s my reason. And that’s ok. Because everyone needs a reason. The added health perks of getting some weight off are just a huge plus. I’m not going to be a clean eater, or green eater. I’m going to take short cuts & follow Rachel Ray and Sandra Lee with their 30 minute meals & semi-homemade foods. I’m going to eat prepackaged foods and processed foods. And that’s ok. I don’t have to be perfect at this.

***

On a different note, school is kicking my ass!

I have so much to do this weekend its not even funny. I have to study 5 chapters for a final exam next Tuesday in my religion course. I have to read 2-3 chapters & do 3 assignments in my human resources course. Plus do an article review (basically a 4 page paper) for that same class. And I have to write my 3rd installment for my final portfolio. Ugh.

I am seriously stressing out about how I am going to get all of this done this weekend. I usually try to relax on Thursday nights, but I think tonight that is not on the agenda. I need to get at least 1 chapter of my HRM book read. Then I can relax.

***

Today’s Plan of Attack:

B: Granola bar, banana, coffee. -5ts
S: Greek yogurt. -3pts
L: Turkey sandwich, salad, clementines. -6pts
S: Carrots, hummus, cheese stick. -3pts
D: ??? – still have 20 points to use.

***

Why are you doing this? Whatever this is.
What are your weekend plans?

WIT = Restart!

I know its Tuesday, but I really do feel like this is my day of the week to reset.

Monday is done. It’s over. No going back. The hardest day of the week is out of the way. The weekend and all of its crappy food, drinks, and activities as a whole are gone. Tuesday. It’s my day to start over.

And I really needed that restart today.

This morning I weighed in. And it was good news! My scale was down 1 pound this morning. I was so excited to see that. And so proud of myself for being able to lose weight over the Thanksgiving holiday. I know I ate too much. Drank too much. Snacked too much. And exercised way too little. I know for certain, even though I didn’t track it all, that my points were probably very far in the red.

But back to needing that restart today. Obviously, my Weight Watchers week started today. My weekly points reset. It’s a new day and a new week. And thanks to that scale being down and having a new week according to Weight Watchers, I have a renewed desire to do this. To succeed. To continue to lose weight next week.

Some weeks are so hard to basically start over. To continue with this journey. Sometimes it’s just so hard and I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to sit on the sofa and eat Rocky Road ice cream straight out of the carton. I want to eat stuffing with gravy until I feel sick. I want to not go outside in the cold and take a walk. Who am I kidding? That last one is not going to happen.

But even after all that food over the Thanksgiving holiday and weekend, I felt like I had a restart on Monday. I was ready for the week. I went grocery shopping over the weekend and was so ready to start back at tracking and eating right. Yeah, that lasted until about 3pm. Then I ate Snickers; lots of them. And M&Ms; not so many of them. And I had leftovers with Mr. Chocolate’s family. And went home and ate Cheese-Its and orange juice. And I didn’t track any of it. Ugh… don’t judge me, we’ve all done it.

But today, I’ve tracked everything. I’ve stayed within my points. I actually have some leftover, possibly for a couple of pumpkin cookies this evening. I have a plan for the week and I will stick to it. I will do this and be good at it

***

Today’s Plan of Attack:

B: Granola bar, Banana, coffee. -5pts (F/W)
S: Greek yogurt, coffee. -3pts (D/W)
L: Soup, salad. -5pts (V)
S: Hummus, carrots. -2pts (V)
D: Subway sub. -13pts (V/O)
S: Starbucks Grande Skinny Mocha -3pts (D)

I still have 6 points left, so I’ll probably treat myself to 4 pumpkin spice cookies tonight.

Thanksgiving Break is Officially Over

And it’s back to school for me!

Whew, stress time to the max! I have so much to do before Wednesday. Thanks to the holiday my book hasn’t even shipped yet! It’s supposed to arrive by Wednesday, I don’t think that will happen. So I’ve printed off all of the HW & reading to work on tonight. I also need to work on my vocab list for my Religion course.

It’s going to be a long couple of evenings.

On another note, Thanksgiving was good. I ate dinner with Mr. Chocolate’s family. We had a good time & it was nice seeing everyone. I didn’t get to see my family though, which sucked, but I will be home for Christmas which is only 23 days away!

I didn’t make my pumpkin spice cookies for the family, but I did make them for Mr. Chocolate & myself with dinner last night. So good! He requested that I make them again, and he doesn’t have a sweet tooth. So that was awesome.

And speaking of baking & Mr. Chocolate, we were discussing some household things this weekend & it’s almost like we’re moving closer to officially living together. It’s still no where in the near future, but it’s closer than it was. He told me I need to start hanging my clothes up if my drawer is full. Also told me that I need to bring my KitchenAid to his house since I like to bake/cook so much & he has the room for it since it’s not being used at my house. Um.. what? So, these things will be happening. Maybe I’ll take over a different closet instead of his, but still, improvements.

***

Today’s Plan of Attack:

B: Protein bar, banana, coffee. – 5pts
S: Yogurt. – 3pts
L: Soup & salad. – 6pts
S: Carrots & Hummus. – 2pts
D: Pesto chicken, pasta, & salad??. – ???

Why Can I Not Understand!!!

Finance is kicking my ass.

There is no other way around it.

I enter the formula into Excel like I think it’s supposed to be. I come back with some jacked up stuff like a monthly house payment of $17,550. Or paying $32,000 for a $10,000 car. WHAT THE HELL!!

I’m calling a girl in my group tonight to help me figure out what I’m doing wrong with these formulas. I just don’t know. And then I do it a different way & I think I’ve finally figured it out. And then it’s still all jacked up. I just don’t get it. Maybe I should give up hopes of following in my Old Man’s footsteps and working for a bank.

***

On another note, can someone please tell me how to keep my diet/exercise motivation?

I just can’t seem to keep it. I just don’t want to do it. I’m pretty good at maintaining this weight. I’ll stick with the program for a few days & then fall of the wagon for a few days. I’m good at that cycle. And the scale proves that – it barely moves. But I want the weight to come off. I want to be back down to where I was when I met the one I love.

A couple months ago I had a goal of being under 200 pounds at Christmas. That was like 1 pound a week. Now, that’s not going to happen. It’s like 1.5 pounds a week at if I commit 100% today. And let’s be honest, that’s not going to happen.

Maybe I need to change my attitude. Or my surroundings. Or something. But when all I do is stress about money. And about school. And my job. And my car. And my relationship is going really good. And my social life is back. I just don’t want to stress about something else. I just want to live. And enjoy.

Maybe I just need to be ok with maintaining.

I’m out of that funk

And happy as a lark.

It was bad. Bad bad bad. It took a while for things to get better. In all aspects of my happiness. But they are turning around. And for the most part, they have completely. Life is good again. And that’s a good thing.

I’m feeling comfortable with school. I’m not stressing. My classes are no where near as hard as I was expecting them to. (I say that now, but I have a midterm to work on this weekend & a final project to start.) I got rid of the evil piece of crap car that keeps messing up. I got a car payment I can afford & I’m comfortable with. Things with the one I love have completely turned around. We’ve figured out our relationship again & things are good.

How many times can I use the term good in this post?

I took a couple personal days. I talked a lot with a friend of mine. I arranged a deal with my mom. The one I love & myself laid everything out on the table. Lots of talking. And stressing. And sole searching. And maybe a mental health day or 2 in there where I avoided all human contact.

Anyway.

I’m back on track with my diet/exercise plan. That was slacking. And I tend to do that whenever life starts to feel overwhelming and out of control. I completely ignore the healthy habits I’ve learned. But, now that life seems to be good again, it’s time to focus on those aspects again. (Ok, yes, I realize it’s *always* time to focus on those aspects, but sometimes, just no.)

My goal is to lose 17 pounds by NYE. That will put be back at 199 pounds. I can do it. I will do it. And from there, just another 20 pounds to my goal. I.Will.Do.It!!